This is really the FIRST time of my entire life to blog about him. i really want to keep all this in my heart, i dont want my friends,relatives, people who dote on me to worry about my life. i dont want them to share my burden, just let me swallow this alone. Today is the first night that i really feel like screaming from the top of my lungs, BADLY. REALLY BADLY. i wanted to shout, i really wanted to, but i keep surpressing it. and now my heart really feels the pressure. it's getting heavier till i cant take it anymore. Even typing about this, my heart is super heavy, it weighs a million trillion piercings. i want, i wish to tear but come to think of it, its not worth it. There are several, infact, more than that, my entire life which causes many things that lead to a deeper level of hatred against him. ive tried not to hate him, tried to understand that "no matter what, he's still my dad" not that i didnt try, I TRIED! I KEPT THINKING, kept putting god's word in
Walking towards Dreams